.:[ Thursday, October 27, 2005 ]:.
KAU ILHAMKU..

Beribu bintang dilangit
Kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rembulan mengambang
Kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah
Sedetik wajahmu munculDalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang atau rembulan
Terima kasih kuucapkan

1
Izinkan kumencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah oh...
Andai lagu ini..
Mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah oh...
Sekadar memori..
Kita di arena ini
Kau ilhamku
Kau ilhamku...

( ulang 1 )
a RED production by me at 10:31 AM

it is less than two weeks to O levels.to be exact it is 9 days to o levels.and i am basically rushing in everything before next week's hari raya so that the next few days to O levels will be thorough revision.okok enuf abt O levels,wat a boring topic!

next up..one of my friend is in deep shit and i so know what she means.poor girl.
when it comes to love and its tortures.goodness..i know what she means and i know what she is going through.so to u babe..and u know who you are..have faith and pray..

then..there is me and my plans overseas..! goodness..! i cant wait.get this shit done with..leave singapore and have a hell of a time.so i was talking to my dearest father earlier..and he is such a good motivator and i am so gonna live up to his name!so yes..with my dearest daddy in my mind..i am gonna push myself and get O levels done with my best preparation.

lastly..to *him..i am wondering if i should drop over to egypt to visit him..wud it be too romantic..yikes..but i really miss him!
a RED production by me at 1:28 AM

.:[ Tuesday, October 25, 2005 ]:.
i m havin the sneezes..*achoo!

urgh..in any case today was sweet and calm.the day turned out at first to be rather scary as we all experienced earlier which was thunder..! lightning..! and stormy weather..! goodness..and well i safely got to school.Studied maths..and got more knowledege than i needed thank goodness for those who wont mind helpin.in any case..i wont be bloggin much from now on..its gonna be busy busy busy for me.so yes..peeps i gotta go..so sorry will update wen ive got something really exciting..! ciao peeps..!
a RED production by me at 8:35 AM

.:[ Monday, October 24, 2005 ]:.
well lets see..its almost 3 in the morning and i can't sleep..! honest..well i guess the reason is distractions..o levels..and lastly *him.Firstly distractions..

Im sort of lost in my life.I don't know where i belong or where i am based at.I am here in singapore but my heart does not belong here.It is far away in the maldives, where my dad is.Been thinking tonite..like everyone knoes where they are in life and what they wanna do and what they are set out to do.Unfortunately for me im stuck wit da BIG Os.the blog is someplace to let it all out so here goes..i am tired of studying and to be honest to the millions out there..today was the first day i actually drilled some info into my head.Secondly..i am really bothered about my weight.Everyone is like..Oh u look fine and i already have it all but i don't feel right.I wanna go out..work it, go for my dance classes and yoga classes.Feel no pressure and just do my own thing but i guess i have got to wait..and i will be patient and pray for a better tomorro.
Shucks..i just wanna do what i wanna do and when you are forced to do something u have always hated..the past few YEARS..it sort of gets to a limit.In any case..next o levels..

O levels..
today did a paper on maths..and thats about it.My humanities i am confident of scoring.my english i am confident of scoring.my maths..i just need a lot of practice..my science..is shit.physics..i know nuts..and chemistry i have not started.i am so screwed and i just hope i get to that right path.

*him..
i got an email from him..! and i am estatic..! haa..well lets say a long await has been well awaited.

thats about it..i need motivation and i need to get this stuff done.


a RED production by me at 3:00 AM

.:[ Friday, October 21, 2005 ]:.
today was awesome..! i succeededd in ma challenge and like wat my dear friend vaishnavi says, i have been doing this hosting job the past five years.good-ness me..i have that much of an experience.haha.so yes..i do have the talent to be in front of a thousand people and do live action.haha.Well..i do hope to pursue acting..and hosting.;)..watch me..

finally..the ping yi idol..rehearsel to be exact.i made it through..hhaa..everyone there was real nice..and well vaish said i used a bit of my flirt-tactic.haha..and well guess it worked..!
I just checked out myself..haha..meaning i took a few moments in life..to reflect and see what i could do.and i have made some important decisions..and promises.so yes.i am not giving up..going to study soon after messaging shafeez and will be off to o level land..
a RED production by me at 9:37 AM

.:[ Thursday, October 20, 2005 ]:.
alritey..so here i am..225 in the morning and unable to sleep.i guess i am pretty excited and nervous about tomoro's hosting of the School's Idol event, and although its just a rehearsel..
the main challenge that has got me so in the mood,is that my audience is a group of MALAY students.gosh..OMFG..i aint got nothin against malays..cos i have got the blood too but it is just you know..they are hungry..! its the fasting month..! and hello..they are so so drained out.so yes..i have decided to take up the challenge..and see what i can do.they are all like a hell lot younnger than i am and i am sure my energy should be sent out to them.so yes..i shall update you tomoro on my big personal hosting challenge.

next up..practical today was a reliever..and mr chua is hotness la..! hha so yes.I have tasted that sweet bit of success of knowing that you have done your best and the result would not be an absolute failure..so yes. :D haha..so ya..tomoro morning after the event..ill be off to the library to do some humanities revision probably social studies..and also in the afternoon bit i would be doing chemistry.then at nite..party..! woohoo..haha..i wud be going out with my brother's friends..down at arab street so yes..i am looking forward to having FUN FUN FUN..!

oh yes people..pls do come and support dearest jamie on Saturday..at i dont know..some paya lebar place..but yes..if u people need any company..me,joycee and raazmy will be there.so Yes..people..i shall be off now..it wud be nice to have a fag now..but oh..wat the hell..i gtg peeps..u tc..nite
a RED production by me at 11:25 AM

.:[ Sunday, October 09, 2005 ]:.
i just checked out the movie FEAR..starring mark Wahlberg(pure hotness) and some girl whos starred in Legally blonde.man..i forgot the girl's name..! ouch..sorii..well in any case..in this movie mark wahlberg portrays a psychotic helpless lover.My gosh the intensity and the jealousy is insane.
Mark's body is so my ideal's man's body..! pure hotness..!kk..u guys so gotta check the movie out..it may have been years ago but it still ROCKS..!next up..my confusion with my past.....................


*tony(not his real name).
I have moved on and well i have some unfinished past.The first boy i ever had a thing with, well he is back to haunt me and he has not forgotten me.After years of no contact, i received an email earlier this week from him.He called me 'Dear'..and was ever so sweet.he is working on one of the resorts but he won't tell me where yet..but he keeps on saying 'im working at the one and only reethi rah' reethi rah in maldivian language which is dhivehi means BEAUTIFUL ISLAND.after his first email i already felt my hair stand.I could feel those intense moments we had and the hours we spent by the beach at night.i feel afraid..so afraid..my father n mother know i have changed..and i have.But this one man from my past keeps haunting me now.I'm not the loose or bitchy girl i used to be.I am pretty much straightforward and tells things straight to the face.i have a clean state now and well nothing is bad or watsoeva.i am on the right path.then..after few days of much thought i told myself i didnt wanna have anything connected to him.but then i hve just received his second email.Now he even says he wants to meet me.i'm pretty confused and torn, i have had feelings for this guy but now..it has all changed.so much has happened in the past three years im pretty shattered.And wats more..i will be staying in the maldives from the end of NOV till the mid of march
.there is a high chance i may meet him and if i do..wat will happen..?????


WAT IF MY DAD FINDS OUT..HE IS THE MAN..IVE HAD MY FIRST FEELINGS FOR..HELP..
a RED production by me at 10:04 PM

.:[ Saturday, October 08, 2005 ]:.
O levels.Just mean a hell lot of stress.Everyone i know is facing their own problem, on a scale of 10..which is 9.Its this last stage of the O levels and as for me, i took the first step by having a low profile.I keep to myself and just do my own thing.But..like everyone else i too have a problem which is..i keep getting blamed or accused for something i had nothing to do with.and then..there is that one person who i have confided in, to a certain extent and SHE turned her back on me.I will never be as close and as far as the problem is now..SHE doesnt know i know.I am just keeping my cool and will never be bothered with HER.

it has always been a question of trust..and to all those out there who have trusted me..wat ever secrets are safe and i have never let the cat out of the bag.I am damn sure about that.

Everyone hates school now..even me.And can you believe just few years back, i was so ON about school.In any case..i ave come up with the plan for this week and will be burnin the midnite oil to complete the work.so yup.anyway i shall go now..am feeling very lethargic.Nite people.
a RED production by me at 8:31 PM